Being Comfortable Within Yourself

It's hard.

I'm not going to try and beat around the bush. Becoming comfortable with who you are in ALL aspects is incredibly difficult, and I won't make out like it's an easy journey. Of course, there are those people who just seem to have been born comfortable and don't feel any way about anything because they accept and love themselves; To those people I give kudos as they are very privileged and blessed to feel that way. 
However, this isn't the case for the majority of people. Even though people may appear comfortable within themselves, it may not necessarily be so, whether they are specifically aware of it themselves or not. Regardless of whether it's on the surface or buried deep down, most people have at least one thing that they aren't happy with, in regards to themselves, and that they would like to change. It's sad and quite difficult to admit but it's true.
Personally, it's been a long road. Having been bullied in primary school because of my appearance, been initially disliked for my attitude and persona in high school, consistently having had my problems, my flaws, my faults, my wrong-doings and short-comings, my issues, blatantly rubbed in my face all. the. time. I mean, it took its toll. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't care about what other people think of me. I don't really care if people think I'm ugly/unattractive or dress weird. I do care if they dislike me as a person but appearance-wise, no. That's one thing I'd definitely say is true, but I do care, as everyone does, about what I think of myself. It's sad to be able to say that you dislike yourself or that you hate yourself. I've been there. There was a time when I hated myself. I couldn't bare to look at myself in the mirror because it made me feel physically sick. I thought I was ugly, not good enough, too skinny, too short, lips too big, nose too strange-looking, eyes too big, forehead too wide, ears too 'pixie-like'. Of course, to everyone around me I think I seem like a confident person, who's sure, collected and just all there but, really?  I've been to hell and back with a mild eating disorder, depression, anxiety, self-harm and image issues. I've had a hard time fitting in and finding myself. Realising what's important and learning to love myself has been a hard road, and it's continuous. I'm still on it. There are still some aspects where I think if only I looked like this or that but I realised that you know what... It doesn't matter. At the end of the day, appearances won't last forever. It's the heart that honestly counts. The Bible says that 'Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.' It's what matters ! 

The dangers of an incomplete circuit.

I don't admit to this easily ... 

Lately, I've been having a difficult time trying to make sense of things. 
My brain knows how to think and the thought process, only something's going wrong somewhere and it fails to come to a feasible conclusion. My mind keeps wandering and I feel as though I am no longer capable of thinking. I frequently find myself sat thinking ... of nothing, and I'm not even kidding. My mind is as empty as (what's empty?), an empty jar. I just do the norm and stick to what I know and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of complaining that I'm lazy, that I'm tired, that I'm stupid, that I'm not all there. I am. I more than capable of thinking, it's just following the thought process through that is the issue. I just need to connect the final fuse to finish the circuit. I'mma be working on that for sure. I have been, and I am slowly getting better. I find it's easier to keep your thoughts to yourself. Of course not always, but in voicing my thoughts, especially when surrounded by others, I leave myself open to their thoughts and opinions on what course of action to take and just like too many cooks spoil the broth, too many opinions seriously mess up your head.
So here's the advice:
If there's one thing you need to organise is your thoughts. An organised mind = and organised life.
And whilst that can prove incredibly difficult it is imperative... You'll only get lost otherwise, in another world of chaos and confusion, and in reality? You'll be complaining of the things you can't do rather than rejoicing and taking a pro-active role in achieving the things you can. Nothing is impossible. It takes a simple thought to change the world. Finish that thought process, right to the very end. You never know what genius idea you may arrive at.

Rocky .x <3