Changing and allowing God to lead is a lot more difficult than I originally anticipated.
It's not even necessarily the distractions of the world that have hindered my growth that I so desperately needed. It's me. I've been so caught up in my own thoughts and feelings that I've neglected to recall the purpose of my time alone these few months.
If you don't feed yourself what you need to get to where you desire to be, the devil WILL, without fail, find ways to lead you away from where God wants you to be. An idle mind is Satan's workshop and there is more truth in this than I ever initially recognised, hearing this as a child. My thoughts and mind have wandered and I appear to be no further along than when I first wrote about needing to change my outlook on life. And I need to thank God once again for his continuous patience with me. Feeling myself run in place is as frustrating as it must be for others to see and for God to see.
I didn't intend to be stuck here for this long and I'm desperately looking for a way out. But there's no escape for my mind. I need to pray. That is the only thing, I believe, that will eventually free my mind from the foolish things I've fed it with.